hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
