dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
