i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
