Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
