I hope mine doesn't look like that
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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