So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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