hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
