Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
