apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
