I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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