i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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