Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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