i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
