I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
