Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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