it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
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After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
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You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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