he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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