I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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