I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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