bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
