I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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