Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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