last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
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