im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
