After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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