He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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