i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
two words...techno handjob
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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