I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
