Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
