Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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