Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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