Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
