they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
