The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
