Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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