How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
