It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
