im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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