if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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