There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
