I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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