He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
