my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
