Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize