Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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