I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.