Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize