We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
