i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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