his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I understand Curling. That high.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
