Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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