They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
