your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wish you could order shots online.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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