I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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