Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
