I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
