she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
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Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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