just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
